Meditations on Chocolate

Indulging in the decadent chocolate pie from last week's post challenged me to be more mindful of my cravings.  The pie was so damn delicious, and sweeter than most foods I eat, that I noticed myself becoming addicted to having a slice of pie every night after dinner...and sometimes after lunch...and ok, maybe a bite for breakfast.  I even turned the extra pie filling into these sweet little chocolate truffles (photo above) so I could keep indulging.  And though there is nothing "bad" about wanting to eat something so yummy that I had made, I was aware that I was compulsively going for the chocolate, time after time, without thinking about it, and without fully enjoying each bite I was eating (which is kind of the whole point!)  

Luckily, I've been reading Pema Chodron's book, The Places That Scare You, about learning to sit with discomfort, pain, anxiety, and fear.  In meditation, I've been taught that when you feel a strong sensation (maybe your foot getting tingly, your back aching, or a feeling of anger), rather than fighting it, or immediately trying to fix it, you should pay attention to the feeling and give it some space to be.  My meditation teachers do not encourage suffering in pain, but they do suggest that before I quickly move my foot to a more comfortable position, I first give it some mindful awareness.  Often when I have done this, after a few minutes, the feeling goes away.  If it doesn't, I will adjust myself so that I am not in pain.  

So I tried to apply this practice to my chocolate cravings.  Before grabbing another slice of chocolate pie, I sat and meditated on the feelings I was having.  I noticed a sort of clenching, anxious, sad sensation in the center of my body.  I sat with these feelings, trying not to judge them, stifle them, or change them.  Instead I tried embracing these feelings, and sending loving-kindness towards myself for having these difficult feelings.  And you know what?  As soon as I gave these feelings the attention they needed, they melted away.  I did not have a dire need to eat another slice of chocolate pie anymore.  Now, I certainly do not believe in a self-torture diet, or in denying yourself pleasure.  That is not the lesson here.  Instead, I am reminded of listening to my body and giving myself lot's of love and compassion.  Making the decision to stop eating wheat, sugar, and dairy was not about restricting myself and suffering, it was about learning how to take good care of my body.  Practicing mindfulness around eating (and living) has made me a healthier and happier person.  Next time you have a strong craving for chocolate (or whatever it is), try this home-made "recipe" for a chocolate meditation below!  

Ingredients:

• Yourself
• A place to sit

Directions:

1. Take a comfortable seat in a quiet place.  Try to sit up straight so you feel alert, but not stiff and uncomfortable.
2. Close your eyes and bring your awareness to your breath.  Just notice it coming in and out of your body.
3. Then bring your awareness to your cravings.  Notice where you feel it in your body.  Notice it's qualities (does it feel heavy? does it feel constricted?  does it have a color? does it have something to say?)
4. Once you've observed these feelings, try sending yourself compassion and loving-kindness. This might be as simple as placing your hand on that place on your body, or giving yourself a hug, or saying something comforting like "I see your pain, and I have compassion for you."  Or whatever feels good and relevant for you, do that.
5. Then see if anything shifts in these feelings.  Maybe it does, maybe it doesn't.  But just pay attention.  Try to suspend your self-judgement and try fully accepting who you are in this very moment- chocolate cravings and all!